Thursday, January 17, 2013

Building a Homestead

You may recall that we are going to live in Oklahoma FOREVER.  Or at least for the foreseeable future.  So as part of this forever-ness, we had decided to look around for a larger house.  Not, of course, that we are really suffering by any sort of historical standards; simply because with this large snotty brood, a bigger yard, larger kitchen and one more bedroom would make day to day life a bit more manageable.  So we looked around, briefly, in our school district and found that what we would like would cost about $1.2 million dollars.  So we put our heads together and came up with a brilliant solution:  we would build our own house! And of course when I say "we" I mean other people who know how to build houses.

Because we have children and not money, our house will be a huge, simple monolith:  basically a gymnasium with a kitchen attached.  We will have to forego amenities like marble baths, media rooms, surround sound, wet bars, infinity pools, and potties.

OK, OK, no - we will have potties.  FIVE of them, to be exact.

Granite in a laundry room!  Can you fathom such wonder?
Unfortunately our builder Bryan, like PVT long ago, has discovered my uncanny ability to sniff out the most expensive feature or detail of just about everything.  Bryan brought me to one of his homes currently under construction, and was amazed that I could not say no.  "Look at that gorgeous wrought iron stair rail!"  I would exclaim.  "Um, that's extra," he would sheepishly reply.  "Look at the brick back splash!"  "Uh, extra..."  "I LOVE the painted brick!"  "Erm...."  "Look at the stone patio!"

It got to the point that before I would enter the next room, he would shout, "Just don't even LOOK at the GRANITE!"

That gorgeous wrought iron rail is extra, alas
Ah, this will be an interesting process, full of first world problems:  what kind of massive fridge do we buy?  Will my cabinets look weird with that tile?  Do we want carpet or wood flooring in this room?  How many arches can I feasibly fit in one house?  Will PVT run off with a younger blonde because at least she doesn't insist on putting eighteen windows in every room, including the closets?  (I'm from the Northwest,  you all.  I get freaky if there isn't maximum light in every inch of a place.  I may not even put up curtains.  Ever.)

Gorgeous stone backsplash!  Swoon!
Then there is of course the one really scary problem:  what if our house doesn't sell before the other is completed?  Which children will we put on eBay to finance the down payment then?  And just how rusty are my pole dancing skills if we need another income?

 The developer has our earnest money.  The financing has been more or less secured.  The plans are almost finalized.  Stay tuned, you all, for some good old fashioned real estate drama.

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