Friday, March 16, 2012

Sugar Free Limbo

So here I am, trying to mind my own business, hoping the pregnancy gods would feel that they had given me enough to deal with what with the ever-worsening varicosities  and the unsightly weight gain.  I wasn't even worried at my appointment yesterday; I had been feeling the baby moving; the ultrasound looked good.

And then I failed my stupid glucose test!  Huh?  I've passed that thing five times now, and time six I flunk?   So now I have to take the three hour test, which involves fasting, and then drinking vials of vile sweet stuff (although I have to admit everyone says how awful these tests taste, and I really don't mind them!), and then being pricked intermittently.  For three hours.  At the doctor's office.

I guess the good part is I get three kid-free hours!  Whatever will I do?

Of course I want this baby to be healthy, and if I do indeed have gestational freaking diabetes, I will follow the whole darn sugar-free protocol.  But holy shizer - sweets and sugar and cookies and chocolate are one of the SOLE pleasures of pregnancy.  If I have to give up my morning chocolate truffle and my 20 ounce French Vanilla Coffee and my two or seven daily cookies, and prick myself multiple times per day for kicks...how will I endure trimester three?  What vice will I have left to lean on? 

Smoking.  I'll take up smoking.

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