Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Remind Me Of This Crap If I Ever Whine About Having Another Kid

So Sunday I almost passed out in church.  Good times!  Well, not so much for me, or the poor guy next to me who thought I was going to yak all over him, but at least I provided a bit of intrigue for my section of pews, and my boys were thrilled to leave early.  Win win!

Really, though - how embarrassing.  But somewhere in the midst of all the Catholic calisthenics, I just started feeling hot and claustrophobic, as if the blood were not reaching my head.  Which it probably wasn't, given my gimpy ET leg.  So reluctantly, yesterday I pulled out my compression pantyhose from the maternity store.  Such great irony:  I detest pantyhose of any kind so much that when I was working in an accounting firm I would routinely get called in to HR for not wearing hose.  So I launched a "no hose in the summer" campaign, and yay! - I was successful, although I think I pissed off HR when I interpreted summer to stretch into November.

ANYHOO, these dang hose didn't really seem to work at all yesterday.  My leg still throbbed and ached:  how in the freak was I supposed to get through the next 140 days without the ability to WALK?  And what if I develop a blood clot and leave all these children motherless in Oklahoma....wwwwwwwwwwaaaa!

Ooooh - sexy!

So today I pulled out the big guns and put on the super strait-jacket compression hose I was required to wear after my surgery - hose you might see on a 83 year old nursing home patient - and phew, my legs feel a bit better.  But I guess that means I'm going to be tugging these bitches on for the next FIVE months.  Awesome.

In another great stroke of irony, my article about gym couture is online at Tulsa Kids.  Of course I have not set foot in a gym since I found out I was pregnant.  Yes, I saw those Cross Fit mommies with their big pregnant bellies and lithe muscular bodies.  Of course I was jealous.  But I also want to tell them that they have the rest of their lives to exercise their spleens out.  Now is your time to nap, lay back and let your body have its way with you.

Atrocious varicosities and all.


Kristin said...

Hope you're doing ok now lady! Seriously...There are pregnant chicks doing Cross Fit? And I was feeling so good about my pre-natal yoga routine. Ha!

mpsutterfield said...

Jill--I feel your pain. I feel like my belly button is literally going to pop open at any moment. It is so sensitive! Not to mention the new bundle of little veins that have popped out on the back of my left leg. Is it harder this time because I have three other kids to care for or because I am 38?!