If They Could Just Shave Off About $2.1 Million

Lately PVT and I have been indulging in real estate fantasies.  As in, BIGGER.  MORE.  Part of this fantasy makes sense, of course:  when we moved in, we had a mere 2.8 kids, and now we have 5.3.  Our house is 3,600 square feet, which is of course palatial by world standards, and even by many Americans' standards.  So yes, I know - our real estate woe is hardly a grievous injustice.

But you know our guiding philosophy:  Too Much Is Not Enough.

So we've been oogling houses in our school district - a district we want to stay in because of its excellent elementary school.  Alas, our budget has not quite kept pace with our outsized fantasies, so we mostly just drool at the bigger, better houses that are just beyond our reach.

But really, we aren't requesting the Surround Sound Media Room, or the his-and-hers Master Bath with a sauna and gym, or a Craft Room, or a Mother-In-Law Apartment, or Butler's Quarters.  We don't even really need THAT many bedrooms, since most of the children prefer to sleep together like a pile of puppies.  Really, we just want a few things:  a bigger kitchen that doesn't screech to a halt if I open the dishwasher.  A kitchen nook big enough to hold a table for eight that doesn't require everyone pushing his or her chair in all the way to pass through.  A driveway big and flat enough to house a basketball hoop.  A bigger yard.  A mudroom with a cubby for each child.  And OK, my one pervy house porno wish:  an obscenely large laundry room.

So we look and fantasize and dream.  And then last night, as I was driving Keane to a slumber party in a nearby neighborhood, a neighborhood we drive through often that happens to be VERY dark at night - big yards and no streetlights - I spied a For Sale sign through the pitch black: OH.  This house looked lovely.  Big, but not THAT big.  A really nice yard.  A huge driveway.  I thought it might be just a smidge out of our budget, but oh I was eager to check.  So I ran in the house and told PVT I'd found our house!  PVT, whose knowledge of every square inch of real estate for sale within our five mile radius is so detailed I suspect MLS uploads directly to his brain every night, looked at me suspiciously.  Triumphantly I searched for the house online, and up it popped: 

Isn't it lovely?  What good taste I have!  Erm, it did look a little big, though - oh.  It's about 8,000 square feet.

OHHHH.  It's $2.5 Million Smackers.  MILLION.

This cognitive dissonance I suffer is why our house search will continue for a long, long, long time, possibly into eternity.