Growing up I had many Jewish friends (well, after I left Catholic school!). My first boyfriend was Jewish, and I was sure, as any 17 year old is sure, that we would get married someday. My fantasies were crushed when one day he off-handedly remarked that he would never marry someone who wasn't Jewish. I suppose I could have asked if he would take a convert, but I didn't think that through. (And then he went and married a Catholic! Oh well. Things have worked out well for both of us.)
I was always terribly interested in what Jews did on Christmas: eat Chinese food! Go to movies! It didn't sound too bad, besides the lack of presents. Although they did make out over Hanukkah - those "Eight Crazy Nights" per Adam Sandler.
Now I've gone and sent all my Jewish friends Christmas cards - how tacky. I usually at least manage to cross out the "Merry Christmas" and pen in "Happy Hanukkah" - I think the "Happy Holidays" sentiment is too vague and cheezy. But this is the card I wish I had sent my good Jewish friends:
Make Dinosaur Snot
14 hours ago