Bad Shoes and Good Booze

I just finished my June article for Tulsa Kids about shoes. Where I make a snarky comment about a store which carries vats and vats of these Tom's shoes:


I just sort of hate them, people! They look like shoes for mummies, what with the bandaged look of them. And yes, I know they give a pair to children in need for every pair you buy, but can't I buy CUTE shoes and then donate some cash to charity? Didn't the Man Himself say, "Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly." (Matthew 6)

Harrumph.

And THEN I got this email for Mother's Day from NORDSTROM, of all places:

BLEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCH! MORE Tom's shoes! And for Mother's Day? REALLY? If any child of mine got me a pair of these shoes for Mother's Day, I would throw the aforementioned shoe at the child's head.

OK, maybe that was a little harsh.

But then yesterday at the preschool Mother's Day tea, Will wouldn't let me have any of the cake balls we were supposed to SHARE, and Colette threw a fit and dropped her gift for me, a potted plant, in the hallway. The resulting explosion of dirt and tears might make a pair of Tom's shoes look like a pretty good gift after all.

What I really want for Mother's Day is this:
My friend Ravishing Red Ann gave me a sample of hers the other night (so lucky am I her door is 8 steps away!), and WOW. It has sucralose in it, so anyone who's used to a diet drink will find it deeluscious. SO much better than that vile ethanol Skinny Girl Margarita.

Happy Mother's Day to MOI.