Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I HATE playing with my kids. There, I said it. I am happy to talk to them all day long. I love having them around and interacting with them. I'll read to them, feed them, bathe them, clean up after them. Help them with a puzzle. Take them to a park. But if I am enlisted to play "battle" or "be the bad guy" I want to gouge my eyes out. If I agree at all, I can only last five minutes before I plead some chore I have to do.
(The sole exception is Hide and Seek. If you find a good hiding place, you can sit in an oasis of calm dark peace for several long minutes.)
So imagine how thrilled I was the other day when I found ALL FOUR of my children playing together:
True, it had never happened before and probably won't happen again for three months. But those few minutes before someone slugged someone? Bliss. And to hope that they will have some of that camaraderie the whole of their lives, that there will always be some sibling to talk to...that, my friends, is one reason to have a lot of children.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
And look at these beachy peachy necklaces:
Alas, here's where I have to draw the line:
I have never been able to figure out how to accessorize my hair. I am permanently scarred by my mother's early attempts to tame my mass of frizz into very unfortunate pigtails. I would probably end up looking like this:
So maybe YOU can buy some headbands, my friends, without freaking people out. I shall applaud you wholeheartedly, with my boring, unaccessorized hair.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
This is "Ladybug Land," a habitat for the little bugs from their larval to adult stages. Rory has been lovingly dripping water drops into the little dome for two weeks now, and when they finally all "hatched," he decided he wanted to bring them to show his fellow kindergartners. So we agreed I would drive him to school and accompany him so he could show off his pets, and then I would take the ladybugs home.
During our usual morning mayhem, Rory's younger brother took his Happy Meal Dragon toy. Rory got on top of him and started to hit him, all the while holding onto his Ladybug habitat. I grabbed Rory off his brother, which caused him to drop Ladybug Land. The sealed dome came flying off, and suddenly we have many many ladybugs crawling all over the family room.
After several minutes of ladybug reconnaissance mission, punctuated by my eldest's screams - "I HATE ladybugs!" - to which we all cried "WEENIE!" - for freak's sake, who is afraid of a LADYBUG? (yes, we are big on self esteem here) - we had gathered the little critters up into their dome with the now removable lid. Off we precariously went to school.
Now, Rory has a little nemesis in his class: we shall call him Grayson. This child is over a YEAR older than Rory. Why? Oh, don't get me started, my friends. He was held back, "red shirted," because "he wasn't READYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" for kindergarten. I LOATHE this practice of holding back children (usually boys) with summer birthdays, so they will have a leg up in school - in essence, so they will be the biggest and smartest. BECAUSE THEY ARE THE OLDEST. Now, if a child truly has a developmental delay, that's one thing. But the majority of the children I've seen held back are just fine. They are simply bigger than everyone in their class. And bored. And what does a bored, big kid become? A bully. A bully, who bullies MY children, all by far the youngest in their classes. GRRRRR.
So we arrive at class, the children swarm Rory and his bugs, and Grayson tries to grab the habitat away from Rory. Predictably, the dome comes off. We are able to get the dome on before many bugs escape, but squish one bug in the process of reattaching the dome. Rory is holding back tears.
So I leave after showing the kids the ladybugs and trying to comfort Rory. On the way home, the dome pops off AGAIN. So I end my morning frantically gathering ladybugs from inside the car.
Now Mama Bear will retreat back into her cave. After I eat a bully or two.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
My sons haven't yet hit double digits, let alone puberty. How am I going to feed them THEN? Just mud wrestle a pig every few days and stick it in the man fridge, to roast over a spit that night? And the expense! We blow through about $300 per week now in groceries; what about in 5 years? I'll have to start a porn blog. Or moonlight as a pole dancer. Just to FEED my children.
Oh. And yes, feel free to make snarky comments about our high-falutin' taste in fine wine.
Friday, April 9, 2010
I think this pile will last the monsters for a month or two, at least, although the rate at which they shred clothing is fairly alarming.
And now, drumroll please...here is my little toothless wonder, my native Oklahoman:
She pulls off the hillbilly look pretty well, doesn't she?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
So. You think I'd be hypervigilant about sunscreen with my four flaxen-haired, blue-eyed, albino children?
(They don't look like they've been roasted over a spit in this shot, do they? Trust me. It's mortifying.)
After FIVE HOURS on the sunny soccer fields today (DUH ME!), they were all sporting little lobster faces, charred necks and Coke Can Red forearms.
AARGH. And I was thinking they might be chilly today.
It always takes me a burn to get into the sunscreen mode again.
Gloat away, my friends. Gloat away.