Friends Don't Let Friends Wear Orthopedic Apostle Sandals

My friends, while I believe that about 90% of what you buy at Nordstrom will rock your world, there are times when even the gods and goddesses that are the Nordstrom buyers get it wrong. Terribly wrong.



For instance: just yesterday I got my big order of PVT-approved lingerie. Of course, to take advantage of free shipping on orders over $100, I threw in a few baubles to try on. This being one of them:

So seduced was I by the pretty coral color that I neglected to notice all that drapey fabric in the front. The result on my dwarfish frame: I looked pregnant with a pair of wrestling boa constrictors. REVOLTING, my friends.

And then, my dear friend Kappa Kappa Karen (who continues to get me into trouble by emailing me the latest kiddie trunk shows in town) sent me this atrocity:
What IS that? Doesn't it look like something one of the disciples of Jesus Christ wore after a bad ankle sprain?

So, my friends, even Nordstrom can fail you on occasion. DRAMATICALLY. Luckily you have me to shake you to your senses. You're welcome.